Are you Still Repaying Debts from a Past Relationship?

A press release came out last night reporting that 29% of consumers have incurred debt from a relationship and continued to pay for it after the relationship ended. The release goes on to try to tie this statistic into some financial tips for buying Valentine's Day gifts. I think they are missing the key point that this study reveals.

It's a very unromantic fact, but it is a statistical truth that most relationships end at some point. And whether it was marriage, living together or just dating seriously, there is almost always a financial repercussion. Shared purchases need to be split up, credit cards unjoined, joint savings divvied...as they say, "Breaking up is hard to do."

For example: I had a friend who broke up with her boyfriend of two years and had to launch a serious financial plan as a result. She had helped him buy a car and pay for college while they were together. After they had broken up, he agreed to pay her back $500 a month and she took on the unwanted role of being a "lender" to her ex. Even though she managed to recoup a lot of her money through this repayment plan, she never quite got it all back.

Cupid is probably frowning on me for talking about separating so close to Valentine's Day, but here are some tips to help you if you are breaking up:

• The absolute most important tips is to separate shared accounts so that your credit report is not going to be impacted by your ex in the future. In most cases this involves closing or refinancing joint financial products. Don't forget about credit card authorized users, loan and credit card co-signers and joint banking accounts. Divorce decrees do not officially separate accounts, you have to work with the creditor or lender directly instead.
• If the separation was not amicable, place a 90-day fraud alert on your credit report. Your ex is probably armed with all the personal information needed to launch a revenge-motivated identity theft attack on your credit.
• Be as fair as possible. The end of a relationship comes with some strong emotions. Don't let your animosity toward your ex lead you to demand more than a fair share. The easiest and fairest way to split everything is 50/50. (Of course, if you are getting divorced instead of breaking up there are a whole new set of rules that apply here).
• Crunch the numbers. If your ex owes you money, don't be afraid to follow my friend's example and think like a lender. Try to set up a payment plan using automatic transfers between your ex's bank account and yours.
• Be prepared to not get all your money back. You may be happier just "writing off" some or all of the debt if it means making a clean break from a bad relationship.

Do you have a financial horror story related to breaking up? Or a tip from your own experiences? Share your feedback in the comments section below.

Comments

[elaine]

I was in a relationship with a man for13 years (never married) we had a credit card together we broke up and I had forgotten about the card I never used it I didn't even had the card he used it and had the bills sent to his house so I never new until I went to get a loan and they pulled my report now 3 years later it is up to 10,000 dollars with late fees etc, and I am the primary on the card so they are suing me

[EmilyPeters]

Elaine, I am so sorry to hear about your situation with this credit card. This is a prime example of why it is just so important to close shared accounts. As long as the card is open you are still responsible for the debt. If you need help evaluating your options, you can call Credit.com's team at 877-273-4273.