Charts to Help You Succeed in Online Dating
If you're investing your time and money in an online dating service and want to increase your chances of getting a reply from someone you're interested in, don't tell them they're "hot." Instead, tell them you dig zombie movies.
That's just one nugget of advice from a treasure trove of wisdom at OKCupid's blog. This site crunches data collected from millions of messages sent back and forth between its subscribers and reveals what kinds of messages and terms result in the most responses (along with the ones that are sure-fire turn offs). Even if you aren't looking for a romantic partner, you'll find that the graphs and charts offer fascinating insights into human nature.
Especially interesting is the post titled "Online Dating Advice: Exactly What To Say In A First Message." OKCupid analyzed the terms and phrases in 500,000 "first contact" messages. They found, for instance, that "the worst six words you can use in a first message are all stupid slang," such as ur, r, u, ya, cant, and hit. Using ur will drop the response rate from 32 percent to 6 percent!
Another mistake is complimenting someone on their looks. If you say someone is "sexy" you'll almost halve your chances of hearing back from them. On the other hand, a greeting of "How's it going?" will boost the response rate to 53 percent. People also respond well to messages that make it clear that you actually read the person's profile and have something to say about it (using "you mention" in a message increases the response rate to 49 percent).
The wisdom gleaned from the results of OKCupid's studies aren't just limited to romantic relationships. They can be applied to every kind of interpersonal encounter. In my opinion, taking a genuine interest in other people — their ideas, desires, interests — is the most important part of having a fulfilling, rewarding life. The data from OKCupid seems to confirm this.
As the front man for a vegetarian zombie metal band, I'm thrilled.
Posted by: Matt | October 06, 2009 at 09:51 AM
Seriously? Physics??
Posted by: diane47 | October 06, 2009 at 09:58 AM
Hi! How's it going? I saw that you mention video game physics in your profile. I've been reading some grad school literature for a program focused on game engine development, so it's nice that there's a member with similar interests.
I also noticed that you were vegetarian. Me too. I have a tattoo on my calf of an awesome zombie and the slogan "Brain-meat is Murder." I used to be in a zombie-core band; we called it un-death metal. Maybe a little repulsive, but I saw that you listed Shaun of the Dead as a favorite movie and thought I'd share.
It would be really cool if we could talk sometime. Shoot me a message if you're interested.
[I guess this is the average OKCupid user... in the way most households have 2.5 children.]
Posted by: Curriculum Morte | October 06, 2009 at 01:50 PM
OkCupid is definitely not representative of the entire internet dating community. It has a lot of college age "bookish" girls and geeky guys.
Posted by: okcupid user | October 30, 2009 at 05:07 PM
Great Blog,This site provides very useful tips.Online dating means new age of online matchmaking.Thanks for the greatreading, dating help .I will pass this on to our Ira clients to read.
Posted by: datinghelp | November 12, 2009 at 08:43 AM